This has been a week of pre-launch jitters and much communication with the tech support end of Web Design. I have had contact with three different support teams.
In the middle of it all on Wednesday, I had a beautiful wake up call from my friend Isabel Martins of HealthandNaturalLife.com. Three or four of us meet over Skype every two weeks as a loosely defined Mastermind group. We have been doing this for a year. It is precious time.
I was in the process of fixing broken styling on the website about to be launched when the call started so I talked about it. Having done everything I knew to do, it was time to contact the tech supports for the theme I work with. Based on past experience, I was not looking forward to it. Sometimes, it goes really well. Sometimes it doesn’t.
Bottom line? I don’t like looking or feeling stupid. I would go so far as to say I hate it and I verbalized that to the group.
In the next breath, I shared how excited I was about Ecstatic Dance Corvallis and the opportunity to drop into the body and let it do what it does through whatever shows up. It is an opportunity to get out of the mind and let the body take the lead. This was coming up at the end of the week.
And then I was done.
As someone else was talking, Isabel very nonchalantly said, “So your body is allowed to be imperfect, and your mind has to be perfect.” Not a question. A statement.
I was so out of touch with this that I had to ask if she was talking to me before I could even take it in, in part because I am my body’s harshest critic and the mind was having a hard time taking that in.
I was dumbfounded and silenced as she said “Yes” following up with “And that is why the experience shows up like it does for you.”
I immediately thought “How can that be?” and a few seconds later “Ohhhhhh!!! Yeah. I get it.”
In that moment, I was overwhelmed with several emotions. Compassion for the mind first and foremost, because it has believed it must hold everything together and never ever look (or be) stupid. Falling apart has never been an option. The mind had to stay smart and keep on top of everything. Everything.
“Simple.” she said. “Now you know. Let it go and you will have a different experience. You know how to do that.”
I like that about Isabel. Completely clear and calmly matter of fact. She then turned her attention to the other group member and left me to do what I knew to do.
I did the immediate release work that I knew to do, and also gave my mind permission to stand down, to relax, to get it wrong.
After the session, I composed the support ticket to the creators of the theme I use in my creations, clearly outlined what I had done, the problem I kept encountering, complete with supporting images. Two and a half hours later the problem was solved, the website styling was back up and I had another piece of “what to do” if this shows up with another website.
I had interacted with a different tech support person this time and came away feeling empowered without feeling stupid. I asked her at the end of the dialogue if there was anything I had done that she could see that initiated the “break” in styling. She said no and then gave me some back-up tips.
The shift in the energy (aka vibration or frequency) in me around feeling stupid had much to do with this.
I love the learning on all levels that goes into creating beautiful and functional websites!
And I love the connection that occurs as a result of meeting consistently with the same people and sharing our dreams for over a year, each of us in our own way. I love that technology connects us across continents and oceans and allows us to participate in each other’s lives in a significant way.
Thank you to Ann Marie Meyers, Lori Arveson and Isabel Martins for showing up and being a part of this Mastermind group of powerful women! You three keep reminding me of what is truly important and you make my world so much better because of your presence.