Catch, Love, Release

I love this rose.  It arrived broken off and shorter than the others. There are signs of battle on the outer petals.  Yet it opens, exposing its inner beauty.  There is perfection in the outer petals as they open to display the inner layers.

The funny thing about writing is that I often get an opportunity to experience where I am blocking the experience I am focused on. It doesn’t always look graceful from the outside.  In fact if often does not.  Like the marks on the rose as it opens to display the beauty within.

It probably doesn’t feel graceful to the ones in it with me. I don’t find it easy to dance around the feelings of the people around me.  I can do it when absolutely necessary. I have spent my entire life trying and then there comes the “C’mon already!  Let’s cut to the core of it!”  

Yes.  That happened yesterday.  And yes, I’m practicing pretty much everything that follows here.   Sometimes it feels as though I am writing reminders to myself for future reference.  This reminder is less than 24 hours old.  And I need it now.  Yeah.

 

And as I move with this next phase of my life, here’s what’s already different.

 

There are far fewer “spanking episodes.” for those apparent graceless moments.

 

There’s a tuning in to what is absolutely perfect for each moment and an acceptance of what is.

 

There’s a deep level of trust in the process.

 

The beautiful thing for me as I’ve been intentionally shifting out of the greater balsamic phase of my life into the new is that there is an invisible line of demarcation that says “That was then. This is now.” The invisible line reminds me to release, surrender and let the Seeds being planted germinate, take root and be nourished in the soil that I have prepared over the last three and a half to 4 years. I’ve done what I could and continue to do what I can with what shows up to be done.

The rest is mystery.  

The minute I find myself feeling frazzled and overwhelmed I can (and mostly do) go to that place of remembering that I am not alone. I am enough. I am loved. I am the Love moving through me as me, in service to Itself. Whatever it is that feels frazzling to me belongs to Love. Whatever it is.

The thing is that we get to modulate the energy we find ourselves in. We get to learn to use it instead of being batted around and overwhelmed by it. We get to look at the stories we tell ourselves about the energy. We get to make a choice about whether or not the story continues to be accurate for us and choose from the new space.

I’m noticing something else. I’m noticing that as the lower frequency energies show up for me (and they do), it is easy to remind myself that I no longer carry that energy. I chose to drop it at the invisible line. It is not mine to carry.

That allows me to catch, love and release it. It may never have been mine to carry or it may have been mine to carry until now. I don’t know. That is mystery for me in this moment.

What I know is that now,

I can practice catch, love, release, surrender into Now.

Catch, love, release and surrender into Now. Repeat.  

Catch, love, release and surrender into Now. Repeat.

And

I can keep planting the seeds, nurture them diligently and move lightly into my life.  

 

 

 

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