Doing something a little differently this week! I am so moved by the video below and as I was sharing this video with one of my favorite groups it occurred to me this is my offering to you all this week. It is powerfully important for all of us!
This is particularly powerful to me. It has been front and center in my awareness as another layer of deep body loathing has surfaced for release and love. This week I realized that I have been “hiding” in part because my body doesn’t work like it used to and I don’t want to be seen as weak and limpy. Makes sense as we approach the 5th “anniversary” season of the body halt. This particular week the sense of loss has been around the apparent loss of stride.
We are in a Mercury retrograde (which I happen to have been born in – that is a whole other topic ) where communication (among other things) slows and seems to go backwards.
In the body, communication occurs via the nervous system. Sometimes when I am walking, particularly if I am not warmed up or I feel tired, it feels as though the nerve impulses slow and almost stop in my right leg. In those moments, I have to think about the fact that the leg needs to go forward and actually tell it to step forward when I feel it want to stop. Just the right leg. Not the left one. The moving forward leg.
I loved my power walk. I have been grieving the apparent loss of that walk. I miss it in its consistency. And, counter intuitively, that stride is becoming more and more accessible as I embrace the “not-power” walk.
I am so done with hating my body because it doesn’t behave like I wish it would, because it looks a little like chunky monkey (which makes me laugh in this moment).I am also done with trying to manipulate it into being what I think it should be. More than anything in this moment I want to feel at ease in this skin as it is, No “you have to be a different way for me to really love you” towards my body. More of this instead.
“Wow!! Thank you for serving me in the many many many ways that you have. Thank you for bearing up under the continual silent verbal abuse of ‘You are too fat, too blotchy, too weak, too mannish, too short, too (fill in the blank)’
Thank you for recovering so beautifully after four crazy bone surgeries. Had I listened to the messages you were sending via pain, numbness and every other symptom I ignored and suppressed, maybe there would not have been the need take a knife to you not once but 4 times in a two year span.
Thank you for serving me for almost 60 years. Thank you for showing me pleasure in all the ways that you do~ taste. Smell. Sight. Sound. Touch.
Ahhhh!! Touch!! Thank you for still being able to give me sexual pleasure. Thank you for your ever increasing capacity for sensual/sexual pleasure! That amazes me given what you have been through. You are a rock star, body!! Thank you!! I love you!”
Thank You, Divine Beloved for the pleasure and honor of life in this luscious pleasurable sensation interpreting body. Nothing to be done but enjoy in every moment! Whatever it is that is showing up, remembering that there is immense pleasure in the release of constriction.
Please enjoy the video.
I would so love to hear your response to this topic ! Please share with me in the comments below.